thedailywhat:

Self-Employed Denny’s Manager of the Day: A Madison man was arrested inside a Denny’s on Thierer Road after he claimed to be the branch’s new manager, and proceeded to walk behind the counter and prepare himself a cheeseburger and fries.

According to the police report, 52-year-old James Summers walked into the restaurant wearing a maroon tie and a “long black trench coat,” and carrying a briefcase.

After announcing to employees that he was the new general manager, Summers walked into the back room, and had a “nose to nose” with the current manager, who immediately began placing calls to corporate.

Meanwhile, Summers helped himself to the cooking area, where he whipped up a burger and a side of fries and began to eat his meal. He was about three-quarters of the way through when the police showed up, and the self-proclaimed boss was arrested.

While patting him down, officers found a stun gun, as well as two crack pipes.

Despite the drama, Summers did attempt to turn his predicament into a teachable moment, shouting “this is why you don’t dine and dash kiddies” as he was being escorted out.

As for his claim that he had been with Denny’s for 30 years, a Madison police spokesman said he didn’t know, but “he probably has had experience cooking a cheeseburger in the past.”

[msnbc.]