January 2012
How I Met Your Mother is on Netflix instant. Bye!
chasing spiced rum with carrots?
“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making...”
– Neil Gaiman (via quotewhore)
December 2011
Two weeks ago I lost my glasses. Yesterday I lost my deodorant. Now I’m out of drugs.
Life is going downhill incredibly fast.
Cancelled my new years eve plans because I’d rather stay home alone, get drunk, and watch terrible movies.
I just spent the past hour flirting and cracking jokes with Bar Boyfriend. Bar Boyfriend is a guy that comes into my work during late night happy hour and is really really really cute. We talked about farts and belly button lint, I swear to god. I want to marry him.
“Black people make me really nervous and ugh, oh god, gay people make me want to...”
– Ron Paul, Freedom Under Siege: The U.S. Constitution After 200-Plus Years (1987), pg. 1-162 (via mohandasgandhi)
4 tags
my roommates friend: “oh yeah, it’s no problem if you wanna smoke a bowl right now. I used to do so much pot all the time. Like, it was a problem.”
So what if I live the life of a hermit? Who cares?
ramenjesus:
music is my drug nickelback is my dealer
hereistand replied to your post: Sometimes when I’m at work, looking around at a…
this sounds beautiful. I wonder what your accuracy would be if you asked them. I guess it’s safe to assume that everyone has some problem and their lives aren’t as others would perceive
Sometimes I’m really tempted to ask people about their lives, but I haven’t figured out how to word it yet....
Sometimes when I’m at work, looking around at a restaurant full of strangers, I imagine back stories for every table. That guy sitting alone at table 41? He’s eating alone today because his wife likes to scream and he has 3 teenagers who are so self absorbed they only talk to him when they want money. He’s here to find some peace. The party of 5 at table 63? The only woman...
It’s not that I don’t like any of my friends, it’s just that I would much rather stay at home and sleep 14 hours a day and lie on the couch and draw on my cat or stare at the ceiling and think than interact with humans.
“Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil...”
– Rick Perry. Knob (via liberalsarecool)
My new favorite Rick Perry quote.
(via evangotlib)
“Foreigners. They look like Canadians, what with all that fur.” — Rick Perry
“Montreal is the seat of a worldwide global conspiracy against America, except there they take dollars.” — Rick Perry
...
1 tag
#do you guys have the one person who follows you and who you follow #but you’re not sure why they follow you because they’re such a quality blog and you’re NOT #and you never talk or anything #but sometimes they’ll like one of your posts and you’re like I HAVE PLEASED HER/HIM
GRUESOME TWOSOME
Partying on New Year's Eve?
deathorbetterdays:
still-storm:
Don’t drink and drive-and don’t ride with anybody who does. Tipsy Tow offered by AAA: you don’t have to be a AAA member, from 6pm-6am on New Years Eve/day, they will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE. Save this number… 1-800-222-4357. Please reblog this if you don’t mind.
Hey friends
Yep.
Minneapolis is also offering free rides on any metro...